Jon James
11/30/-0001

Lyrics

In the halls of the old local yokel hotels
Revenue for the venue, the cover band sells
All the Saturday dimwits are out on their prowls
With the sport of oblivious bimbo night owls
Rock and roll for the token
Still broke, and still blue in the balls

Into one drunken ear, and plum straight through his head
Sixteen pitchers of beer, making plans for her bed
The republican strippers are licking their lips
Picking locks and uncocking boys' zippers and hips
Rock and roll for the token
Still broke, and still blue in the balls

Baby t-shirt, tattoos and your pacifier
Baby teeth are coming in, and your pants are on fire
All the dance floor romantics are whipping it out
They're the sloppiest kissers but scrappy, no doubt
To the backseats of cars
On their birthday suit missions to Mars
Hip-hooray for The Gipper
Give that plastic tit cheerleader a call
Rock and roll for the token
Still broke, and still blue in the balls

Jon James
11/30/-0001

Lyrics

Cocktail waitress
Yeah, I'll be drinkin' tonight, love
Pie-eyed and panting
Down at the rivers of Babylon

Cocktail waitress
It's happy hour tonight, love
Flushed, and the light is fadin'
Blot the weight of the world

Dirty martini eyes
Can't feel no shame
In this drunken disguise
Dirty martini eyes

So, forget your scruples and shrines
Dig on these devilish designs
Dapper and devious, blootshot and lecherous
I'll be your sugar daddy

Jon James
11/30/-0001

Lyrics

We're in a whiskey trance
A lonesome tap dance
Rattlesnake romance

Mademoiselle from France
Vaudevillian lover
She sh-sh-showed me on the stagecoach

I know you love the shootout part of me
Quick draw, Missus Kill-My-Misery
Wild West strippin' show epiphany
I know you want some cowboy harmony

You're so bad, you're so good
And we're so ugly
Snap crack of the whip
Shiver and sigh 'til you untie me

Jon James
11/30/-0001

Lyrics

Bucklin' up for trickle down riches
Yeah, um, stockin' the crib (voodoo economy)
With a wink of an eye and a zip of the fly
All this manhood tucked into my britches

'Cuz you can't kill the thrill of the fakery
Roll over Chuck Berry and take me
All this cherrycake heresy
Pushin' the pills of rock-n-roll

So stunning, oh, the future of passion
Gonna blow it all at once
Pimpled pr*ck on the couch, with my tongue in your mouth
In the proper adolescent fashion

But I'm rakin' it in at the bakery
Roll over Chuck Berry, God take me
All this cherrycake heresy
Pushin' the pills of rock-n-roll

'Cuz you can't kill the thill of the fakery
Move over Chuck Berry, you made me
And even cherrycake heresy
Can't kill the thrill of rock-n-roll

Jon James
11/30/-0001

Lyrics

I got my Froot Loops™ on now, check it out
The Jell-o™ shots are knockin', check it out
I never said we was clever
That's why we're drinkin' together
You rattle on 'bout the weather
Yeah. Whatever.
It's all a part of your big bang scene

Our planets are aligned now, check it out
Drunken pantomimes now, check it out
Just say you wanna adore me
Been lookin' all your life for me
Now pin me down on the floor
Before you bore me
It's all a part of your big bang scene

'Cuz every porno queen has got her moan and scream
All a part of the big bang
Every Sunday gal is gonna kiss and tell
All a part of the big bang
Every Romeo has got a load to blow
All a part of the big bang
Proper gentleman
Proper gentleman
It's all a part of you

Jon James
12/31/1969

Lyrics

Livin' between the caffeine and the gasoline vapors
Dreamin' of teenage beauty queens and rolling papers

Jon James
12/31/1969

Lyrics

A land of riches and bittersweet pop music
A promised land, and Cadillacs to cruise it
A palace in Siam, a silver dollar dollhouse
I'm your big business plan
Supersonic highways crossin' velvet streams
Crashin' all the ballets in my ballerina dreams

Pirouetting on all fours
Tired metaphors by the numbers
So drink a little more and pass the glass
There ain't no passion
Champagne cherades, milk and honey masquerades
I'm your patsy on parade
Tippy-toeing crackput
Future bourbon queen
Crashin' all the ballets in my ballerina dreams

Fuzzy-headed cheerleader

Jon James
12/31/1969

Lyrics

Honey, I got my eye on that snake oil
Pie in the sky
Don't ever stop to wonder why I want it
Or how I'm gonna get it
But if it sings like a siren
I can feel the tingle and taunt
I'm whipped
I covet
Good God, I love it
A beautiful delusion

Honey, I think of heaven
I think of dyin'
Feels like there's no use tryin' to make it
Better best to fake it
So while I'm livin' this jones
Well, I might as well gratify my lonesome bones
Compulsion pulls me

Momma, don't waste your time on that nursery rhyme
Daddy, I toe your line a cripple at best
Honey, don't take a stance, miracle or chance
Lover, don't waste your breath
There ain't nothin' left

Jon James
11/30/-0001

Lyrics

Since the black lights, black lies
Were cocked and cast
In a carnival of ultraviolet bombast
God said, "think fast, and good luck with all those booby traps"
While all the angels upon high were sniffin' laughing gas

But everything can change

Now maybe you're all liars, and life's a sham
The lunatics all rule the world
Personal bedlam
Now we're stealing from Allah to pay Uncle Sam
And I'm such a cynical fan
Don't even give a damn

But everything can change in the beat of a broken heart

One and all are holding out against all hope
Such a staggering cherade
These cocksure patsies on parade
All these pills could never kill that pain
We're all bursting at the seams
With a billion stupid dreams

But everything will change
When I hijack a plane for the entertainment
Plead insane
I'll grab some jailbait debutante
Let her blow my brains
Goin' top of the pops on the chopping block
Get my fifteen fame
Crashin' that car like a superstar going down in flames

Jon James
11/30/-0001

Lyrics

Clicking thru them turnstiles
Tick tock
Turning time
Goin' thru every motion like I'm deaf, dumb
Blind
Perfectly disguised, squeaky clean and lobotomized
Somebody point me in some direction
Stack my deck
Shanty town clown in a skyscraper gown
With a King Kong 'round my neck
It'd feel so fine (and justified) to fade away into nothin'
Let the strings unwind
Despite all your gumption, kid
You ain't nothin' but a little snot nose

Wasted skill and I.Q.
Glue sniffin'
Ten feet tall
With the weight of a runaway train wrecking ball
It'd feel so fine
And baby, don't think for a second I'm bluffing
Let the springs unwind
Despite all your gumption, kid
You ain't nothin' but a little snot nosed ragamuffin

I'm gonna breathe that poison in
Live a little sweet oblivion
Plasticene bouquet
Technicolor cartoon doomsday

You'd better face that fact, momma
Ain't ever lookin' back
Uh-uh
'Cuz the world's your oyster, boy
If you can play the flunky
And it's a rat race sham downtown
Junk food junkies, shrunken monkeys,
Figures, facts, bad actors,
Foolish jesters, drunken masters
Fly on up, strange angels
Bring your hats and magic rabbits
Airplane glue, light as a feather
Thing that holds me all together

Jon James
11/30/-0001
Jon James
11/30/-0001

Lyrics

Listen up schoolboys and fancy lasses
When it comes to my sense of humor
Slower than molasses
Let's dispel all the vicious rumor
Well, I've tried to resist all the twists and turns
All the usual diminishing returns
Gravity no longer concerns me
Flyin' outta here in a hurry

Just an idiot stiff
On a one way trip to a dead end
Burned out star
So don't flip me no looks
I won't give you no lip
Just a blip on your radar

Well, your beauty pageant, I won't win it
Ain't never been that sophisticated
They say a sucker born every minute
A sitting duck easily persuaded
Been tryin' to tweak all the gears and springs
All the black magic behind angels' wings
Ropes, pulleys and yo-yo strings
I'm flyin' outta here in a hurry
Shangri-la

Every day another tired cliche
Derelict
Outta die anyways
Let's separate affliction from the facts
C'mon killer
Thrill me on impact

I got one in chamber and one in the clip
Just a dimwit slob on an inside job
To a neat, clean suicide ride
Yes, I are
Gonna make it real quick
Better hope I don't slip

Jon James

Lyrics

Tiny little babies since the day that we're born
Broken world is heaving
Heaping on it's scorn
Clumsy little fingers
Tryin' to make their way through the black & white traffic lights
Dyin' to find what's true
I'm a blind navigator
Stone deaf diplomat
Unrefined
Throwin' one liners
All of 'em fallin' flat
Thought I saw the future
An infernal brilliant blast
Tryin' to fathom all the fallout
Looked a whole lot like the past
Every foolish thing I've said
Stupid things I still could
Don't even scratch the surface of how much I've misunderstood
Paved it all with good intention
But the road to hell is crude
Prayer and confession: bring me strength and gratitude
Everyday I live only to die a little more
Don't go a-worryin' 'bout me, lady
Got all my aimless plans in store
Fix your heart upon the children
It's them I worry most about
The fall of Rome is comin'
They're gonna have to learn to do
Without
Today I couldn't wake up
Pull myself from bed
Rain clouds in the attic
A thunderstorm ahead
They say you gotta be tenacious
Pull your boots up by the straps
Bent my body over
Felt the blood rush
Thought I might collapse

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